I just learned that a friend from years back died from a heart attack this past Friday. He wasn't even 50. It's very sad.
And even sadder, while I remember him - having been reminded of him through his death - I do not remember his face. And I know that, when I lived in the commune, I talked to this man nearly every day, at least for a few years. I probably cooked his breakfast on numerous occasions...
It's sad when we forget people who have been part of our lives, only to remember them - and then only in bits and pieces - when they die.
I've found that death affects me much more profoundly now - especially after my dad's death. Even the death of kittens can make me weepy. But I also feel the celebration/joy of someone's life so much more profoundly now too... It's a double-edged sword, and all-in-all I'm glad for it.
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
01 November 2010
21 September 2010
Thoughts on the Death of a Friend
It seems to me, after these past 10 days, that the death of a dear one makes us feel like we are ourselves lost.
Tragic, unexpected, untimely death is much harder to deal with. It is a surreal experience - in some ways - both physically and mentally intense, wretchedly transcendent in regard to the anguish we feel…
For days we have walked around with a kicked-in-the-stomach feeling, breathing deep was difficult, looking in each other’s eyes was nearly impossible. The patterns of our daily life have a new gap in them and our connections with the world are fewer and more tenuous.
I have felt both terribly empty and terribly full, and both are made of pain.
Tragic, unexpected, untimely death is much harder to deal with. It is a surreal experience - in some ways - both physically and mentally intense, wretchedly transcendent in regard to the anguish we feel…
For days we have walked around with a kicked-in-the-stomach feeling, breathing deep was difficult, looking in each other’s eyes was nearly impossible. The patterns of our daily life have a new gap in them and our connections with the world are fewer and more tenuous.
I have felt both terribly empty and terribly full, and both are made of pain.
14 September 2010
Chad
A great friend is gone and today, or tomorrow they are turning off the machines that are keeping his body alive. A new experience for me and one I would greatly have preferred not to experience.
Let me tell you about Chad.
Chad was a great artist. Not your typical artist working with brushes on canvas or sculpting something beautiful... at least not in the way you normally think of painting and sculpting. Chad's artistry was done with ink and needles, his canvas was skin, his sculptures were our human bodies. Chad was a tattoo artist. A brilliant one.
Sometimes gifted people can be blinded by their own magnificence. Not Chad. He nurtured people he saw as destined to shine brighter than himself with a true enthusiasm and a pure passion to see them succeed. He collaborated where others in his position might have chosen to compete. He demanded excellence of himself, and his collaborators - and celebrated those rare moments of artistic transcendence with boundless joy.
Chad believed in people. He weighed them with a generous heart, and found few lacking. Those who were fortunate enough to be counted as a friend knew unstinting love and bountiful support.
We are all walking wounded today,
Hollow, achy, empty inside,
Wandering the land of disbelief and despair,
Our friend is gone, he has died.
His friends are grieving
See Chad's work
Let me tell you about Chad.
Chad was a great artist. Not your typical artist working with brushes on canvas or sculpting something beautiful... at least not in the way you normally think of painting and sculpting. Chad's artistry was done with ink and needles, his canvas was skin, his sculptures were our human bodies. Chad was a tattoo artist. A brilliant one.
Sometimes gifted people can be blinded by their own magnificence. Not Chad. He nurtured people he saw as destined to shine brighter than himself with a true enthusiasm and a pure passion to see them succeed. He collaborated where others in his position might have chosen to compete. He demanded excellence of himself, and his collaborators - and celebrated those rare moments of artistic transcendence with boundless joy.
Chad believed in people. He weighed them with a generous heart, and found few lacking. Those who were fortunate enough to be counted as a friend knew unstinting love and bountiful support.
Hollow, achy, empty inside,
Wandering the land of disbelief and despair,
Our friend is gone, he has died.
His friends are grieving
See Chad's work
10 August 2010
Wayne's Sushi & Karaoke Bar
My Las Vegas vacation is just about over. We've been here about a week. We've done some fun things and spent some great family time.
Tonight's wonderful surprise was Wayne's Sushi and Karaoke Bar. I cannot tell you how great it was. Total Food Orgasm. Period.
What we ate:
Appetizers:
Jellyfish, Bean sprout salad, Edamame, spicy Cucumber salad.
Wayne's Special Sushi Rolls:
Lost Wages - California roll wrapped with smoked salmon, topped withSum Young Gai sauce, baked and topped with tobiko and bonito flakes and eel sauce.
Mikey Mikey - Soft shelled crab, shrimp tempura and spicy tuna roll topped with spicy crab.
What Brah, Beef? - Shrimp tempura and asparagus, topped with beef tenderloin and ginger pepper sauce.
Snap Crackle Pop - Shrimp tempura and asparagus topped with baked tilapia and ginger pepper sauce.
Itsy Bitsy Spider - Soft shelled crab, crab mix, gobo, cucumber, sprouts, and massago. Served with ponzu and Sum Young Gai sauce.
Dragon Ass - California roll topped with eel and massago and eel sauce.
Brian & Marsha, Marsha, Marsha - Shrimp tempura, spicy crab, cream cheese and cucumber topped withspice crab, tuna, avocado and eel sauce.
And my very most favorite:
Mango A Go Go Hand Roll - Spicy crab with mango, served in soy paper.
The food was absolutely amazing. Fresh. Made right in front of us.
It's a tiny, small place - very intimate - owned/operated by Wayne and Heidi. We were sitting at the sushi bar and the food was prepared less than two feet from us. They have a few tables too, but if you go, be sure to sit at the bar. Wayne and Heidi have fantastic stories - tales to amaze and entertain, brash and silly, teasing and enticing. It's better than any dinner theater I've ever been to. The constantly running banter between Wayne, Heidi and all of us was such great fun. They make you feel like a welcome guest in their home, a long-time friend, not a customer.
If you're ever in Vegas, you've got to go to Wayne's.
Wayne and Heidi, we'll see you in December! We want to hear you sing next time.
Tonight's wonderful surprise was Wayne's Sushi and Karaoke Bar. I cannot tell you how great it was. Total Food Orgasm. Period.
What we ate:
Appetizers:
Jellyfish, Bean sprout salad, Edamame, spicy Cucumber salad.
Wayne's Special Sushi Rolls:
Lost Wages - California roll wrapped with smoked salmon, topped withSum Young Gai sauce, baked and topped with tobiko and bonito flakes and eel sauce.
Mikey Mikey - Soft shelled crab, shrimp tempura and spicy tuna roll topped with spicy crab.
What Brah, Beef? - Shrimp tempura and asparagus, topped with beef tenderloin and ginger pepper sauce.
Snap Crackle Pop - Shrimp tempura and asparagus topped with baked tilapia and ginger pepper sauce.
Itsy Bitsy Spider - Soft shelled crab, crab mix, gobo, cucumber, sprouts, and massago. Served with ponzu and Sum Young Gai sauce.
Dragon Ass - California roll topped with eel and massago and eel sauce.
Brian & Marsha, Marsha, Marsha - Shrimp tempura, spicy crab, cream cheese and cucumber topped withspice crab, tuna, avocado and eel sauce.
And my very most favorite:
Mango A Go Go Hand Roll - Spicy crab with mango, served in soy paper.
The food was absolutely amazing. Fresh. Made right in front of us.
It's a tiny, small place - very intimate - owned/operated by Wayne and Heidi. We were sitting at the sushi bar and the food was prepared less than two feet from us. They have a few tables too, but if you go, be sure to sit at the bar. Wayne and Heidi have fantastic stories - tales to amaze and entertain, brash and silly, teasing and enticing. It's better than any dinner theater I've ever been to. The constantly running banter between Wayne, Heidi and all of us was such great fun. They make you feel like a welcome guest in their home, a long-time friend, not a customer.
If you're ever in Vegas, you've got to go to Wayne's.
Wayne and Heidi, we'll see you in December! We want to hear you sing next time.
11 February 2009
Damn Ken Starr to the Deepest Hell
This breaks my heart.
I've signed the letter. I don't usually do this sort of thing. I don't know if things like this are effective. It often seems like just a feel good (like driving a hybrid) that really doesn't do what we need (like way less driving around).
This one I signed.
And I love the music.
I've signed the letter. I don't usually do this sort of thing. I don't know if things like this are effective. It often seems like just a feel good (like driving a hybrid) that really doesn't do what we need (like way less driving around).
This one I signed.
And I love the music.
05 May 2008
Successful Party
Saturday night Abelisto & I had a Cinco de Mayo party at our house. 34 Co-workers, spouses and children came to our house between the hours of 6pm and 10pm or so. The guests were invited to bring either a dessert or a beverage if they wanted to do so. We now have so much alcohol (in the form of all sorts of beer, Irish whiskey, Mexican brandy, and tequilla) in our house that it will take years to consume it all - neither Abelisto nor I drink alcohol in any format, although I do taste things just to experience them.
I think the success of our parties (this was our third) is the mix of people that we invite. There are people from all areas of the university - except perhaps, upper administration. Both Ablisto and I have friends across the university - Abelisto has been there for nearly 25 years, and I am fairly gregarious and outgoing.
The party mostly consisted of people enjoying lots of Mexican food and great conversations with people they do not see often. The semester is nearly over (finals last Friday, Saturday, tomorrow and Tuesday - then we are done until August) and it felt really good to celebrate a number of things. I am not off for the summer, of course, not being faculty, but I enjoy most any occasion to get together with these people.
The hit of the party was Abelisto's apiary - Beelandia. People were going in and out all evening to watch the bees doing the bee-thing. It was good to see people listening to Abelisto talk about sustainable beekeeping.
The next party will be in the fall. I think that we could have up to 40 people in the house. We may end up with that many. Our parties are evermore popular.
I think the success of our parties (this was our third) is the mix of people that we invite. There are people from all areas of the university - except perhaps, upper administration. Both Ablisto and I have friends across the university - Abelisto has been there for nearly 25 years, and I am fairly gregarious and outgoing.
The party mostly consisted of people enjoying lots of Mexican food and great conversations with people they do not see often. The semester is nearly over (finals last Friday, Saturday, tomorrow and Tuesday - then we are done until August) and it felt really good to celebrate a number of things. I am not off for the summer, of course, not being faculty, but I enjoy most any occasion to get together with these people.
The hit of the party was Abelisto's apiary - Beelandia. People were going in and out all evening to watch the bees doing the bee-thing. It was good to see people listening to Abelisto talk about sustainable beekeeping.
The next party will be in the fall. I think that we could have up to 40 people in the house. We may end up with that many. Our parties are evermore popular.
***************************************************************************************************************
27 April 2008
Too Much Going On
Since Friday:
Daughter #2 called to say she was coming back to Winona on Monday, not in two weeks
Got invited to the DFL Convention dinner
Started fixing upstairs for daughter #2 & partner
Moved 6 bookcases and probably 1500 books from one room to another
Dug (supervised son #2 digging it actually) fence post hole, set post, poured concrete around it
Cleaned kitchen (cannot tell that I did it now, though)
Did some laundry
Went to dinner as Sharon Ropes guest
Realized that invitations for next Saturday's party had not been created or sent
Decided to give out buttons at party
Planned menu for party
Created buttons designs for party
Created invitation for party
Created 32 emails to send to guests with invitation attached
Realized that 32 1M pdfs would hose email account
Optimized pdf for web
Posted pdf on website
Changed 32 emails (removed attachments inserted link)
Sent emails
Discovered that email inbox was already too full
Deleted several hundred junk emails
Should be in bed, it's nearly midnight. Felt I should blog, so I wrote this nonsense.
Good night
Daughter #2 called to say she was coming back to Winona on Monday, not in two weeks
Got invited to the DFL Convention dinner
Started fixing upstairs for daughter #2 & partner
Moved 6 bookcases and probably 1500 books from one room to another
Dug (supervised son #2 digging it actually) fence post hole, set post, poured concrete around it
Cleaned kitchen (cannot tell that I did it now, though)
Did some laundry
Went to dinner as Sharon Ropes guest
Realized that invitations for next Saturday's party had not been created or sent
Decided to give out buttons at party
Planned menu for party
Created buttons designs for party
Created invitation for party
Created 32 emails to send to guests with invitation attached
Realized that 32 1M pdfs would hose email account
Optimized pdf for web
Posted pdf on website
Changed 32 emails (removed attachments inserted link)
Sent emails
Discovered that email inbox was already too full
Deleted several hundred junk emails
Should be in bed, it's nearly midnight. Felt I should blog, so I wrote this nonsense.
Good night
***************************************************************************************************************
03 April 2008
Making Sustainability Sustainable
Went to the Twin Cities this week with my boss for the meeting between our web team and the vendor that we are working with on the website redesign. It is a bit over two hours each way for us to go up there. We talk a lot. It is sort of nice to be able to do that. On the way up we talked about our tastes in music (I had taken my iPod and FM transmitter) and our families and what we were doing at various times growing up (we are close in age, but from different areas of the country) which got us started again on music. He asked if I could guess what artists were on his iPod (he has a really strange mix). We also talked about sustainable living, something which interests both of us.
On the way back we talked a great deal about sustainability - after we finished taking apart the meeting we had just been to and putting it back together again.
My boss gave me a charge - figure out how to make sustainability, the sustainable life movement, sustainable.
Now that is quite an assignment. Anyone have any IDEAS?
On the way back we talked a great deal about sustainability - after we finished taking apart the meeting we had just been to and putting it back together again.
My boss gave me a charge - figure out how to make sustainability, the sustainable life movement, sustainable.
Now that is quite an assignment. Anyone have any IDEAS?
**********************************************************
01 January 2008
New year's eve
Actually it is new year's day, but I have not gone to bed yet.
Abelisto and I went to a progressive party. I had never heard of progressive parties (other than the green party) before I lived up here in Minnesota.
We started at 6:30 at one colleague's home where all sorts of hors d' oeurves were served - mostly cheese and crackers and some sort of Greek savory cheesecake - at least I think it was Greek - whatever it was, it was excellent. The house was a large and lovely house, but it was a bit off-putting that a single man lived in a house that would cheerfully contain a large family. It made me ever so more mindful of the fact that if the kids ever move out (sigh) we really need to either do some serious searches for house-mates, sell the house, or donate it to the local Catholic Worker house. It was clear the colleague was in the chemistry department, not the environmental studies department...
Everyone left that house just around 8:45 and went to the next colleague's home - he teaches modern languages (French & Spanish) and his wife is Argentinian. It was a much more modest home, but it was definitely more homey and interesting. The previous home felt rather antiseptic and sterile... Anyway at the second home the food was tacos/burritos. Having been forewarned by our second hostess during the hors d' oeuvres part of the night that they had not prepared anything for vegetarians, I ate as much of the hors d' oeuvres as I felt I needed for the evening. Turns out I could have made a very nice veggie burrito at the second home, but since I had eaten so much I refrained. I did have some arroz con leche, just to see what Mexican rice pudding was like. The television was tuned to the Music Choice of the 70's station - not having television, it amazed me that you could get what essentially was radio on the television. Anyway, a few of us ended up dancing for the last 45 minutes or so at that colleague's home. His wife was so thrilled that people actually danced in her home.
At around 11ish we went to the third and final home of the evening where dessert was served. Those of us that were dancing in the previous home promptly changed the television from the sports channel to the Party Favorites music channel and kept dancing. We danced until nearly 2 am, stopping briefly at midnight to hug and smooch everyone in the room. Occasionally we stopped to listen and participate in the discussions that were going on - but I get tired of talking about work and the university and the palace intrigue there - even obnoxious 80's music is more interesting than talking about the bitch in this department or the moron in that department or the bozos in administration. There was one interesting discussion at the first house about religion, Christ and social justice between the feminist French teacher and the Bible scholar and his wife. I am not very knowledgeable of the Bible - certainly not well-versed enough to discuss it with a Bible scholar - so I just listened. Besides, it was not a discussion for an agnostic like me.
Anyway, it is way past the time for going to bed. Happy New Year y'all.
Abelisto and I went to a progressive party. I had never heard of progressive parties (other than the green party) before I lived up here in Minnesota.
We started at 6:30 at one colleague's home where all sorts of hors d' oeurves were served - mostly cheese and crackers and some sort of Greek savory cheesecake - at least I think it was Greek - whatever it was, it was excellent. The house was a large and lovely house, but it was a bit off-putting that a single man lived in a house that would cheerfully contain a large family. It made me ever so more mindful of the fact that if the kids ever move out (sigh) we really need to either do some serious searches for house-mates, sell the house, or donate it to the local Catholic Worker house. It was clear the colleague was in the chemistry department, not the environmental studies department...
Everyone left that house just around 8:45 and went to the next colleague's home - he teaches modern languages (French & Spanish) and his wife is Argentinian. It was a much more modest home, but it was definitely more homey and interesting. The previous home felt rather antiseptic and sterile... Anyway at the second home the food was tacos/burritos. Having been forewarned by our second hostess during the hors d' oeuvres part of the night that they had not prepared anything for vegetarians, I ate as much of the hors d' oeuvres as I felt I needed for the evening. Turns out I could have made a very nice veggie burrito at the second home, but since I had eaten so much I refrained. I did have some arroz con leche, just to see what Mexican rice pudding was like. The television was tuned to the Music Choice of the 70's station - not having television, it amazed me that you could get what essentially was radio on the television. Anyway, a few of us ended up dancing for the last 45 minutes or so at that colleague's home. His wife was so thrilled that people actually danced in her home.
At around 11ish we went to the third and final home of the evening where dessert was served. Those of us that were dancing in the previous home promptly changed the television from the sports channel to the Party Favorites music channel and kept dancing. We danced until nearly 2 am, stopping briefly at midnight to hug and smooch everyone in the room. Occasionally we stopped to listen and participate in the discussions that were going on - but I get tired of talking about work and the university and the palace intrigue there - even obnoxious 80's music is more interesting than talking about the bitch in this department or the moron in that department or the bozos in administration. There was one interesting discussion at the first house about religion, Christ and social justice between the feminist French teacher and the Bible scholar and his wife. I am not very knowledgeable of the Bible - certainly not well-versed enough to discuss it with a Bible scholar - so I just listened. Besides, it was not a discussion for an agnostic like me.
Anyway, it is way past the time for going to bed. Happy New Year y'all.
**********************************************************
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)