People have been posting about things they are thankful for this month.
I've agreed with many of them, liked many of them.
I'm adding – I'm thankful for Pablo Picasso, whose words made me think hard all month long. I've learned some things that I wouldn't have without his words... most of them about myself.
Showing posts with label self monitoring. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self monitoring. Show all posts
30 November 2012
22 November 2012
Pablo Picasso Month - Day 22
A recurring theme for Pablo:
Maybe they are more than just skills – maybe they are paths to joy.
Why Pablo Picasso Month?
I begin with an idea and then it becomes something else.Staying flexible and being open to whatever happens are important skills. I think more than anything these are what helps me keep my balance and my optimism. It's when I get all tied up in a particular outcome (my own or someone else's) that I find myself anxious and miserable.
~ Pablo Picasso
Maybe they are more than just skills – maybe they are paths to joy.
Why Pablo Picasso Month?
07 December 2009
A Step Toward a More Manageable Life
Tonight I deleted over 3000 emails from my Gmail inbox (over 500 of them were unread emails...) and canceled subscriptions to a great many email newsletters and distribution lists. I feel liberated
Now I need to do the same with my work email...
Now I need to do the same with my work email...
21 May 2008
Perhaps A Foundling
Last Friday, Abelisto and I took the train from Winona to Indianapolis. We were going to visit with my mother and drive back in our Taurus station wagon (so we could be a bit more sustainable in our driving - it gets between 24 and 27 mpg, while the truck, well, I have been afraid to test it - I do not really want to know how bad it is...). We left the Taurus there back in November when we brought my dad's pick-up truck home with us. My brother had been checking over the Taurus for us - it had a few problems.
On Saturday, my brother stopped by to tell us about the things he found out about the car that needed our attention once we got it home. We ended up talking about politics, the environment, and some social justice issues. About halfway through the discussion, I asked my brother if he was libertarian. He said except for drugs and prostitution, he is one.
My sister and her husband are probably republican. My other brother, is definitely conservative, I do not know if he is more likely to be republican or libertarian and to the best of my knowledge my mother has always voted republican, although this time she may not - she is disgusted and disquieted about the condition of the world and our government's abuses. She, at 72, is probably far more liberal than my siblings, far more open to ideas and the views of "the other."
Where did I come from? Or maybe a better question is how did I get to where I am? I told my mother I felt like a foundling, like a misfit in my own family. She said that I have had a "larger life" than my siblings. I have lived more places, had more education, experienced more hardships, been abused, isolated, marginalized - and survived all of it, fairly intact and sane.
Maybe she is right. I think that I have not always been as liberal as I am now. In fact I know that I have not. For most of my life I did not even allow myself to express my thoughts or even know what I thought about a great many things - at least on the surface. I think that over time, I began to collect ideas and opinions which I hid away in compartments in my head, taking them out to study them when I could, when it was safe.
Does one need to experience injustice, poverty, abuse, and conflict in order to understand its impact? I think some people may be able to intuit the magnitude of these violences. But I was an extremely self-centered child/adolescent/young adult. I guess I had to live in it before I realized the weight of violence and abuse and how it pressed me down, made me tired and weak and powerless.
And I had to feel all of that personally, deep down in my bones, before I could develop any empathy for others, any understanding of privilege and lack, any passion for social justice and critical thinking. Before I could learn to be kind or to stand up to violence and injustice.
Of course, I am still working on it.
On Saturday, my brother stopped by to tell us about the things he found out about the car that needed our attention once we got it home. We ended up talking about politics, the environment, and some social justice issues. About halfway through the discussion, I asked my brother if he was libertarian. He said except for drugs and prostitution, he is one.
My sister and her husband are probably republican. My other brother, is definitely conservative, I do not know if he is more likely to be republican or libertarian and to the best of my knowledge my mother has always voted republican, although this time she may not - she is disgusted and disquieted about the condition of the world and our government's abuses. She, at 72, is probably far more liberal than my siblings, far more open to ideas and the views of "the other."
Where did I come from? Or maybe a better question is how did I get to where I am? I told my mother I felt like a foundling, like a misfit in my own family. She said that I have had a "larger life" than my siblings. I have lived more places, had more education, experienced more hardships, been abused, isolated, marginalized - and survived all of it, fairly intact and sane.
Maybe she is right. I think that I have not always been as liberal as I am now. In fact I know that I have not. For most of my life I did not even allow myself to express my thoughts or even know what I thought about a great many things - at least on the surface. I think that over time, I began to collect ideas and opinions which I hid away in compartments in my head, taking them out to study them when I could, when it was safe.
Does one need to experience injustice, poverty, abuse, and conflict in order to understand its impact? I think some people may be able to intuit the magnitude of these violences. But I was an extremely self-centered child/adolescent/young adult. I guess I had to live in it before I realized the weight of violence and abuse and how it pressed me down, made me tired and weak and powerless.
And I had to feel all of that personally, deep down in my bones, before I could develop any empathy for others, any understanding of privilege and lack, any passion for social justice and critical thinking. Before I could learn to be kind or to stand up to violence and injustice.
Of course, I am still working on it.
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22 August 2007
Friendships
I have always thought of myself as someone who is a bit cold, a bit distant. Not that anyone would have really noticed since I have always tried really hard to not bring this attitude/feeling/tendency into my dealings with people. For the most part, I have found that I either really like someone (and those are few and far between) or I have no real feelings one way or another about them. Thank goodness I do not usually find people I truly dislike.
However, these days I find myself floundering in friendships. It is a good kind of floundering, sort of a letting go of all the restrictions I usually confined myself with in the past. I think the tendency to flounder is coming from my fairly fragile emotional state, not the actual friendships. The friendships are a blessing.
So if you are one of my friends, I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your friendship, your prayers and especially your kind words. They often seem to come at just the right times - times when I really should stop for a minute and just think about the world and all its wonders, times when I need to just let go of something that really is not all that important.
Often, it seems, we humans tend to take each other for granted - thinking that there will always be a time to say thanks, or to sit and have a cup of tea together, or to express love towards each other face-to-face. I realize that my father's plight is making me more sensitive to these matters - I find myself sometimes making others uncomfortable perhaps, with my declarations of friendship, appreciation and love. So be it. I just have to trust that they will eventually understand.
And I am okay with it if they do not. These things must be said.
However, these days I find myself floundering in friendships. It is a good kind of floundering, sort of a letting go of all the restrictions I usually confined myself with in the past. I think the tendency to flounder is coming from my fairly fragile emotional state, not the actual friendships. The friendships are a blessing.
So if you are one of my friends, I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your friendship, your prayers and especially your kind words. They often seem to come at just the right times - times when I really should stop for a minute and just think about the world and all its wonders, times when I need to just let go of something that really is not all that important.
Often, it seems, we humans tend to take each other for granted - thinking that there will always be a time to say thanks, or to sit and have a cup of tea together, or to express love towards each other face-to-face. I realize that my father's plight is making me more sensitive to these matters - I find myself sometimes making others uncomfortable perhaps, with my declarations of friendship, appreciation and love. So be it. I just have to trust that they will eventually understand.
And I am okay with it if they do not. These things must be said.
03 August 2007
Boundaries
A fellow graduate from Goddard asked us (on our alumni email list) how we deal with boundaries with our partners - especially if we live together. How we provide the space and time we need in order to be creative.
My thoughts on this:
Being clear on things helps. Clear with myself in regards to what I actually need, and clear with my partner about it once I figure it all out.
It takes a bit of courage to do that kind of self monitoring and to be able to separate the wants from the needs. Not that we should not include a few wants in the mix, but I have found that my needs rarely intrude on the rights of others, whereas my wants often do...
And then, once I have it figured out it takes a bit more courage to communicate it to others in a thoughtful and discussion-provoking manner. However, it is well worth doing.
I will say that this is not a do-it-once-and-be-done-with-it task. It is something to be periodically reviewed on a life-long basis.
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My thoughts on this:
Being clear on things helps. Clear with myself in regards to what I actually need, and clear with my partner about it once I figure it all out.
It takes a bit of courage to do that kind of self monitoring and to be able to separate the wants from the needs. Not that we should not include a few wants in the mix, but I have found that my needs rarely intrude on the rights of others, whereas my wants often do...
And then, once I have it figured out it takes a bit more courage to communicate it to others in a thoughtful and discussion-provoking manner. However, it is well worth doing.
I will say that this is not a do-it-once-and-be-done-with-it task. It is something to be periodically reviewed on a life-long basis.
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