03 August 2007


A fellow graduate from Goddard asked us (on our alumni email list) how we deal with boundaries with our partners - especially if we live together. How we provide the space and time we need in order to be creative.

My thoughts on this:

Being clear on things helps. Clear with myself in regards to what I actually need, and clear with my partner about it once I figure it all out.

It takes a bit of courage to do that kind of self monitoring and to be able to separate the wants from the needs. Not that we should not include a few wants in the mix, but I have found that my needs rarely intrude on the rights of others, whereas my wants often do...

And then, once I have it figured out it takes a bit more courage to communicate it to others in a thoughtful and discussion-provoking manner. However, it is well worth doing.

I will say that this is not a do-it-once-and-be-done-with-it task. It is something to be periodically reviewed on a life-long basis.


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